Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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