He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
