is your mom at the bar?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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