i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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