That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
