I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Come on in and take your pants off
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