I only kidnapped one of them. chill
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍