Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order