i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
