I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
