Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
