Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
