im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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