I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
