pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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