Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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