If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
