Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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