pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize