I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
