This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
