forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
