Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
