just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
