I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
