: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
