Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
