Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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