her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize