I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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