I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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