I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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