Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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