that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
