I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
