I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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