Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
