My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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