D3 body, D1 cock
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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