yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
