I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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