This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
