I need help removing her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
