I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
