I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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