i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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