My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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