we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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