I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
