There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
