How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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