Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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