My liver just broke up with me...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize