Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
