Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
