No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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